Does Using a Plug Make You Gay?
Many men wonder about using butt plugs and anal stimulation but then decide not to because they are worried about their sexuality. If you are straight and at all insecure about this, then avoiding anything that seems like it might be gay can be a major concern.
But cutting fun things out of your life just because people who are different from you like them is an easy way to have a miserable life. Just because gay men like to put things in their butts doesn't mean you shouldn't, and this sort of anxiety is rooted in centuries of complicated social programming that just makes your life less fun.
Let’s get this out of the way at the beginning before we move on. Your sexuality has nothing to do with what you put in your butt. Straight men can try all sorts of anal things without it affecting their sexuality, and there is nothing weird about anything involved in gay sex anyway.
In general, men actually get a great deal of pleasure out of butt plugs. We will cover that below, but for now, just remember that they are great fun and can actually make heterosexual sex much more fun and exciting for you.
One of the best ways to think about this is to use vegetarians as an analogy. If you decide to eat a vegetable one night, does that make you a vegetarian? Of course not. Similarly, if you have a go at some butt stuff one night, does that make you gay? Once again, no, it doesn’t.
People of all genders and sexual orientations can have a great time doing butt stuff, and avoiding anal is something that achieves nothing other than locking off one possible avenue of sexual pleasure for you. Anal sex and butt plugs are fun and exciting, and you shouldn’t let your anxieties stop you from having the best sex you can!
If you do any research into this topic at all, then you will find an enormous number of people saying the same thing. Anyone can do whatever they want with their butts, and it doesn’t change a thing about you or your sexual orientation. You don’t need to worry about it at all.
But, even though this is the general consensus, it is still something that worries men all over the world. But why is that? Surely there is no good reason to be worried about your butt and your sexuality? After all, if you know you are straight, then that is what matters. Why would you need to worry about that?
Well, it is all down to psychology and cultural conditioning. Don’t worry if that sounds a bit complicated. We are going to break it down below in easy to understand ways so that you can get a good sense of how all of this works and how it affects you.
In short, the idea of what a straight man should or should not do is something that is weirdly heavily coded into our brains. That doesn't mean that the coding is right, though, only that it is quite deep-seated and can be quite difficult to break free of, even when you know how everything works.
Let’s take a look into gender roles in order to understand what we are looking at here. But don’t worry, we are not going to go deep into psychology here. We will explain everything you need to know without ever having to go into complicated theory or anything like that.
You might be wondering what gender roles are. Fortunately, they are actually relatively simple. A gender role is a role that your society assigns to you based on whether you are male or female. Essentially, it is the difference between what society expects a man to do versus what society expects a woman to do.
That varies between different cultures. In some places, men will be expected to do certain things, while in other areas, there will be different expectations. For example, in many places such as America, wearing a dress is seen as part of feminine gender roles. But in Scotland, a kilt is a standard part of masculine formal dress. So, what exactly each gender role covers will depend on which country you are from.
There is a lot of discussion to be had and thoughts to be considered about gender, sex, and gender identities because they are actually quite complicated and there is a lot of subtlety to consider there. We don't need to go into that here, though, as there isn't space and we don't need to know much about it in order to deal with this particular problem.
The short version is that in most cultures, a straight man will be expected to fit masculine, manly gender roles. And, if you follow that tightly rather than breaking out of gender roles, it can actually be really very restrictive and can hurt you more than it can help you.
So, what are the standard elements of a masculine, manly gender role? Well, that varies between different countries, but there are a few terms that are generally associated with masculinity in most societies. Terms like unemotional, independent, strong, aggressive, dominant and other words like that. You have probably heard ideas like “boys don’t cry” before, but have you ever really thought about them?
Society generally expects men to be tough, emotionless, and aggressive, and that is honestly not great. Repressing your emotions and staying aggressive and aloof only hurts you, and typical masculine gender roles are actually bad for everyone. It is much better to be able to break out of the box assigned to you by society and do things your own way, particularly when it comes to sex.
Masculine gender roles applied to sex mostly comes down to one word: "dominant." In general, in western society, a masculine sexual role is a dominant one. That means being in control and in charge in every way. Historically, that also means being on top, but that is something that we have generally managed to get past nowadays.
The point where dominance still gets hung up and complicated, though, is penetration. It is evident that the partner doing the penetration during sex has most of the power and control in any sexual situation. Many cultures are starting to move away from this obsession with masculine men as dominant, penetrative partners, but there is still a long way to go.
We are gradually moving towards a society where men don’t have to be in charge of everything, in or out of the bedroom, and part of that is penetration. If you are worried about penetration, then all that means is that part of your brain is still stuck in the older ways that society has programmed you, and that can be difficult to escape from. If you are trying to get out of that anxiety, then it might help to consider sexual orientations in a bit more detail.
Sexual orientation vs. sexual preferences
One of the most important things to remember is that sexual preferences and sexual orientation are completely different things. What you are into has nothing to do with who you are into, and it really doesn’t say very much about you at all.
Being gay isn’t just about anal sex. It is so much more than that, and even when you are just looking at sexual preferences, anal sex is only a small part of the picture. Many gay men enjoy receiving blowjobs and handjobs as well. So, does receiving a blowjob or a handjob make you gay?
Of course, it doesn't. And if receiving a blowjob or a handjob, two sexual acts enjoyed by gay men, doesn't make you gay, then why should butt stuff be any different? The answer is that it is not. What you enjoy in the bedroom has nothing to do with who your preferred partners are and reducing a sexual orientation to just sex acts is demeaning.
What’s so great about anal penetration?
One of the most important things to remember is that anal penetration, whether from a penis or a butt plug, isn’t for everyone, and that is fine. But why might you want to give the sex toy a go?
Well, it is all about nerve endings. The area inside your butt is loaded with sensitive nerve endings that can feel good when stimulated in the right way. Technique is important here, just like with any other area of your body. A careful, well-directed touch to a sensitive area can feel great, while just poking at it with no idea what you are doing can hurt a lot! If you are scared of anal, that is probably just because you are worried about doing it wrong! As long as you take your time and approach things slowly and carefully, anal can feel incredible.
The most important area here is the prostate, which can give incredible orgasms when properly stimulated. The prostrate is a small gland between your bladder and your penis, and it is easy to access via the butt. Once you have got the hang of proper prostate stimulation technique, it is actually possible to achieve great orgasms without ever needing to even touch your penis!
There are also enough connections between the nerves in your butt and the nerves in your genitals that directly stimulating one will indirectly stimulate the other. That adds to the sensitivity of your penis and boosts your sexual pleasure in every way.
So, don’t worry about your sexuality. Any man can get great benefits from anal and the use of plugs, and it doesn’t say anything about your masculinity (not that masculinity actually matters, anyway). And besides, if there was anything wrong with anal, it wouldn’t feel so good!
All you are doing by avoiding anal is denying yourself access to more sexual pleasure. So, give it a go. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, but you might just find that it opens new doors for you, bringing mind-blowing orgasms and more fun in the bedroom.